Self-esteem. Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect (Oxford dictionary).

In other words, self-esteem gives you life vest, because you trust in yourself to flow through life on your own. You know your worth, you know that there is no need to compare yourself to anyone else. It is not who is better or worse than you. You know that we are all equal. You believe in yourself. You know how to express your needs. Confidence is part of you. And all of this, gives you a positive outlook on life itself. You are an optimist who starts each day with an affirmation: “I can do this.”

In their paper, “The Importance of the 5Cs of Positive Youth Development to Depressive Symptoms: A Cross-Sectional Study with University Students from Peru and Spain”, researchers concluded that there are “significant negative associations of Competence, Confidence, Character, and Connection with depressive symptoms, while Caring was positively and significantly related to depressive symptoms in both samples. Regarding gender differences, female undergraduates in both samples reported high levels of Caring, while Competence was predominant among males compared to females in both countries. Likewise, higher scores in Competence and Confidence were registered among Peruvian male undergraduates compared to Spanish students, while Caring and Character were more prevalent in Spanish female undergraduates compared to Peruvian students. Conclusions: These findings confirm the importance of targeting the 5Cs of PYD alongside the role of gender and country context in intervention programs, put together to address the mental health of students in Peru and Spain.” Where the 5Cs are: “Competence, Confidence, Character, Connection, and Caring. Confidence reflects a positive sense of self-worth, mastery, future, positive identity, and self-efficacy. Competence is a view of one’s capabilities with respect to a given domain or vocation. Character indicates respect for rules, morality, and integrity. Caring is the ability to feel sympathy and empathy towards others. Finally, Connection concerns bonding with others and forming meaningful relationships with family, peers, and communities.” 

Imagine having all 5Cs! How amazing your life would be! Your brain’s wiring would be perfect! All hormones balanced!

But what when you do not feel as competent or as confident as you should, to live everyday life? You start to dislike yourself as a person; it is difficult for you to make decisions because you feel unable to try new or harder things. Suddenly, you do not know what is your true goal and if you can achieve it. You do not believe that you deserve happiness.

Low self-esteem isn’t a mental health problem in itself. However, mental health and self-esteem are closely connected. If you have prolonged time feeling low on your self-esteem, that would influence your brain health, and vice versa. Even symptoms for both low self-esteem and some mental health issue can be the same, like: feeling hopeless, worthless; not loving yourself; feeling guilt and shame, especially when not being able to perform things that once were easy to do.

So, having a mental health issue could also cause you to have low self-esteem, as well as the other way around. And it might feel a lot harder to deal or work on to improve your self-esteem if you struggle with your mental health. And, if you do have a mental health problem, it is sometimes almost unimaginable to work on your self-esteem.

When life gets tough, and it is tough most of the time, and when it seems like we are in impossible situation, it can be very easy to enter the state of doubt and fear, into the spiral that we cannot control. This could lead to the changes in our self-esteem and mental health. What to do then? How to boost our hormones? How to adequately level-up serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine?

Simple yet very complex things need to be done: you need to be kind to yourself and try to find something, anything really, that is positive in your current situation. Ask people that are close to you for an advice. If that feels uncomfortable, find a therapist to talk to. Life is a challenge and you will find struggles every day, but also there are opportunities for growth at the same time. Use the challenges to grow not to fall. And most importantly, take very good of yourself. Of your body and mind. Movement every day, regular sleeping pattern, well-balanced diet in combination with mindfulness, feeling grateful and appreciative. Nothing of this is easy, even if you are working on yourself for years. But once you start, you already won! Because you will be working on you all your life, and it is better to start sooner rather than later.

Inspirational quotes:

“When you say ‘yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

“You alone are enough, you have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

“I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody.” – Louis L’Amour

Look in the mirror. When you see your face, say it that it pretty. Say yourself – I love you. No matter how fake it sounds in the beginning, it will get easier over time. Make it a permanent decision to love your soul and your body. You are alive! You have privilege to be one day older! You have opportunity to be consciousness being, maybe the only one in the Galaxy. And you get to be that together with billions of other people on this planet Earth. Whatever you are going through, you are not the only one. Someone, somewhere, is suffering for the similar reason too. And you both will find solution and you both will learn to love yourself a bit more each day. Take a breath, smile, and believe. Wish you a wonderful day or night.

Lots of love, Selena

1. Manrique-Millones, D.; Gómez-Baya, D.; Wiium, N. The Importance of the 5Cs of Positive Youth Development to Depressive Symptoms: A Cross-Sectional Study with University Students from Peru and Spain. Behav. Sci. 2023, 13, 280. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs13030280
2. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
3. https://declutterthemind.com/blog/self-love-quotes/